How we always Judge People – it’s Okay but…
Hey, you. Yeah, you. Let’s get one thing straight right from the start: judging people is as natural as breathing. Anyone who tells you they don’t judge others is either lying through their teeth or living in a fantasy world. So, let’s cut the crap and get real. Of course, we judge people on how they look, how they dress, how they talk, and whatnot. This is human nature, and unless you’re some preachy YouTube guru or a saint with a halo, there is absolutely no way you don’t judge people. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. The trick isn’t in trying to stop judging people—that’s a fool’s errand. The trick is in not expressing it.
Look, it’s okay to have opinions about others. You’re going to form them whether you want to or not. But keep those opinions to yourself. No one needs to hear your unsolicited thoughts about their outfit, their speech, or their lifestyle. Act decent, show kindness, and show respect no matter what—whether you want to or not, it really doesn’t matter. Even if the person you’re dealing with is the scum of the earth or an angel in disguise, your job is to maintain your composure. Show the same level of respect and talk to them normally as you would with anyone else. You don’t need to share your hatred nor shower them with too much affection. Just keep calm and mind your own business. This is the safest way to deal with anyone in any situation, and it can never go wrong.
Ever heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”? Sure, it’s a nice sentiment, but let’s be honest—how practical is it? Your judgment might be spot on, but guess what? No one’s going to give you a medal for it. So, keep your opinions to yourself. There’s no point banging your head against the wall trying to prove your judgments right. If someone shares their judgment about another person with you, just nod your head and say, “Maybe.” This is the safest way to deal with human interactions. You’ll never truly know what’s inside anyone—good or bad—but if you can act neutral and stay calm, even if you like or dislike that person, you can be a winner.
Story Time: The Office Jerk
Let me tell you about a guy I knew at work. This dude was the epitome of arrogance. He strutted around the office like he owned the place, dressed in flashy suits, and talked like he was the smartest person in the room. Naturally, everyone had their opinions about him. Some thought he was brilliant, while others thought he was a colossal jerk. I was in the latter camp. But here’s the kicker—I never let him know what I thought of him.
Every day, I greeted him with a polite smile and a “Good morning.” When he talked, I listened without rolling my eyes, even when he was spewing nonsense. When he made a good point, I acknowledged it. I treated him with the same respect I gave to everyone else, even though inside, I couldn’t stand him.
One day, out of the blue, he came up to me and said, “I appreciate the way you always treat me with respect. Most people here don’t, but you do. Thanks for that.” I was stunned. Here was a guy I secretly despised, and yet he appreciated my demeanor. That’s when it hit me—how you treat people matters more than what you think of them. You don’t have to like someone to be respectful. Just do your part and keep your judgments to yourself.
The Party Scenario
Imagine you’re at a party. There’s this one person who just rubs you the wrong way. Maybe it’s the way they laugh too loudly, or perhaps it’s their obnoxious opinions on every subject under the sun. Your gut reaction might be to tell them off or give them a piece of your mind. But here’s a thought—don’t. Just don’t. Instead, focus on enjoying the party. Engage with people you like, have a good time, and ignore the ones who annoy you. No one cares about your judgments at a party. They’re there to have fun, and so should you.
By keeping your opinions to yourself, you avoid unnecessary drama and maintain a positive atmosphere. It’s not about being fake; it’s about being smart. You don’t have to pretend to like someone, but you can certainly choose to avoid conflict. This approach not only makes your life easier but also keeps you from being that person who’s always causing trouble.
The Meeting Conundrum
Now, let’s talk about meetings. You’re sitting in a meeting, and someone starts talking. Within seconds, you’ve made up your mind about them. Maybe they’re dull, maybe they’re irritating, or maybe they’re just plain wrong. The urge to voice your judgment can be overwhelming, but resist it. Listen to what they have to say, nod, and contribute constructively when it’s your turn. If their ideas are terrible, they’ll show themselves eventually. If they’re great, you’ve just avoided making a fool of yourself by prematurely judging them.
Being professional means keeping your personal feelings in check. Your goal in a meeting is to get things done, not to play judge and jury. By staying neutral and respectful, you ensure that the meeting remains productive. Plus, you never know—sometimes, the people you least expect can surprise you with valuable insights.
The Stranger Encounter
How about when you meet someone for the first time? First impressions are powerful, and it’s easy to make snap judgments. Maybe they look a certain way or talk a certain way that immediately puts you off. But remember, you don’t know their story. Everyone has a background, experiences, and reasons for being who they are. Instead of jumping to conclusions, give them a chance. Be polite, engage in conversation, and try to see beyond the surface.
You might discover that the person you initially judged harshly has a lot to offer. Or maybe not. Either way, by keeping your judgments to yourself, you maintain your integrity and avoid unnecessary negativity. It’s a win-win situation. You’re not being fake; you’re being wise.
The Family Dilemma
Family gatherings can be a minefield of judgments. We all have that one relative who drives us up the wall. It could be their outdated opinions, their intrusive questions, or their annoying habits. But here’s the thing—you can’t choose your family. What you can choose is how you deal with them. Keep your judgments to yourself. Smile, nod, and steer the conversation to safer topics. If things get heated, excuse yourself politely.
Family dynamics are complex, and voicing your judgments can create lasting rifts. By staying neutral and respectful, you contribute to a harmonious environment. It’s not about suppressing your feelings; it’s about choosing your battles wisely. Not every opinion needs to be voiced, especially when it comes to family.
The Daily Grind
In your daily life, you’ll encounter countless people who you’ll judge—cashiers, baristas, coworkers, strangers on the street. It’s natural. But remember, everyone is fighting their own battle. Your judgment doesn’t help them, and it certainly doesn’t help you. Practice empathy. You don’t know what they’re going through. A little kindness can go a long way.
Even if someone is rude to you, respond with politeness. This doesn’t mean you’re a pushover; it means you’re in control of your emotions. By not expressing your judgments, you rise above petty conflicts. You become the bigger person.
The Ultimate Lesson
So, what’s the takeaway from all this? Judging people is natural, but expressing those judgments is often unnecessary and harmful. Keep your opinions to yourself. Act decent, show kindness, and show respect no matter what. This doesn’t make you fake; it makes you smart. You maintain your integrity, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and create a positive environment for yourself and others.
Stop worrying about being right or having your judgments validated. Focus on being a decent human being. Treat everyone with respect, regardless of your personal opinions. It’s the best way to navigate through life’s interactions. So next time you find yourself ready to judge someone, take a step back, keep it to yourself, and watch how much smoother your interactions become.